BOOK REVIEW: Braving The Wilderness By Brene Brown

Chapter 1: Everywhere and Nowhere

"You are only free when you realize you belong no place, you belong every place, no place at all. The price is high, The reward is great." - Maya Angelou

I think you should read the statement above again and this time slowly. You'll agree with me that "belonging" feels great and being told that "not belonging" is freedom is rather ridiculous. 

Until you realize it is alright to be comfortable in your uniqueness, you really can't be free. You'll always try to be who or what you are not, it took me so many years to come to realize this. The most difficult job on earth is to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to change you.

For the most part of my life, I was always trying to be someone else just to fit in but this only made fitting in more difficult for me. I wasn't confident in my actual personality. Growing up, I was really dealt with especially by my mum because she always wondered what kind of child I was, even thought I was possessed so your guess is right, I was taken for deliverance and I was always monitored during prayers... thinking about this now, the way my mum monitored me during prayers, I'm sure she was hoping I won't disappear during prayers why won't she be concerned??? I mean what young child talks to themselves in the bathroom... I did that a lot, actually enjoyed doing it...

Not belonging in our families is one of the most dangerous hurts because it has the power to break your heart, spirit and sense of self-worth. and when those three break, there are only three (3) outcomes;

1. You live in constant pain and seek relief by numbing it or inflicting it on others.

2. You deny your pain and your denial ensures that you pass it on to those around you.

3. You find the courage to own the pain and develop a level of empathy and compassion for yourself and others that allow you to spot hurt in the world in a unique way.

When its in your family that you're trying to fit in, it hits different...

You'll always think they don't understand you and it's a really painful feeling because even if you learn to not get bothered about what other people think about you by not interacting with them but you really can't run from your family. At the end you'll most likely want to compromise, do their biddings after all it's family. But it isn't sustainable...

"You will always belong to anywhere you show up as yourself and talk about yourself and your work in a real way". 

"The price is high, but the reward is your work getting out to the world in an honest way. A way that's true to the people who have shared their lives and stories with you.

#Ibelongtomyself