Onuorah Nchedo

Chapter 1: Build Radically Candid Relationships. Emotional labour is not just part of the job, it's the key to being a good boss. "Bringing your whole self to work" How to be a good boss: What leaders do? Leaders guide a team to achieve results; 1. Guidance;        This is often called "feedback"      People dread feedbacks. They forget they need to solicit guidance from others and encourage it between them. 2. Team building;        Building a cohesive team means figuring out the right people for the right roles: hiring, firing, promoting. 3. Results;        Result is basically the reason a team is being put together. Encourage staff to tell you when you are wrong, criticize you when necessary. It helps them open up. Relationships, not power, drives you forward: Three (3) responsibilities as a manager/leader; 1. To create a culture of guidance (praise and criticism) that will keep everyone moving in the right direction. 2. Understanding what motivates each perso

Chapter 6:  Hold Hands With Strangers; Everyday life can be incredibly hard, and the people around us can push us to the very edge of our nerves and our civility. Cover it all in leather; We think we could just get rid of everything or cover it with leather, our pain would go away.  If you work with your mind, instead of trying to change everything on the outside, that's how your temper would cool down. How do we cultivate and grow our belief in inextricable human connection internally? Show up for collective moments of joy and pain so we can actually bear witness to moments of joy and pain with strangers. What experience of collective joy and pain looks like; 1. You'll never walk alone. Inextricable Connection; The experiences of joy and pain that people feel, tells us what is true and possible about the human spirit. We need these moments with strangers as reminders that despite how much we might dislike someone on facebook or in person, we are still inextricably connected. A

Chapter 7 Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart; True belonging is more than strong back, soft front(courage & vulnerability). Once we've found the courage to stand alone, to say what we believe and do what we feel is right despite the criticism and fear, we may leave the wilderness, but the wild has marked our hearts. That doesn't mean the wilderness is no longer difficult, it means that once we've braved it on our own, we will be painfully aware of our choices moving forward. We can spend our entire life betraying ourselves and choosing fitting in over standing alone. But once we've stood up for ourselves and our beliefs, the bar is higher. A wild heart fights fitting in and grieves betrayal.  Strong Back; One way to strengthen our courage muscle is learning how to put BRAVING into practice; 1. Boundaries; Learning to set, hold and respect boundaries. The challenge is letting go of being liked and the fear of disappointing people. 2. Reliability:  Learning how to s

Chapter 5:  Speak Truth To Bullshit. Be Civil "Someone who lies and someone who tells the truth are playing on opposite sides, so to speak, in the same game. Each responds to the facts as he understands them, although the response of one is guided by the authority of the truth, while the response of the other defies that authority and refuses to meet its demands. The bullshitter ignores these demands altogether. He does not reject the authority of the truth, as the liar does, and oppose himself to it. He pays no attention to it at all. By virtue of this, bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are." -  HARRY G. FRANKFURT Bullshit: Lying is a defiance of the truth while bullshitting is a wholesale dismissal of the truth. "If you're not with me then you're my enemy:" This is an emotional and passionate rendering of bullshit, it is a move to force people to take side.  If other alternatives exists then that statement is factually wrong. The ability

Chapter 3:4 High Lonesome: A Spiritual Crisis This chapter would shed light on why our quest for true belonging require that we brave some serious wilderness. Music like all art, gives pain and our most wrenching emotions voice, language and form. So it can be recognized and shared. The magic of high lonesome sound is the magic of all art. The ability to both capture our pain and deliver us from it at the same time. Cynicism and distrust has a stronghold on our hearts. And rather than continuing to move towards a vision of shared power among people, we're witnessing a backslide to a vision of power that is the key to autocrat's power over people. "Spirituality is recognising and celebrating that we're all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion..." Addressing this crisis will require a tremendous amount of courage. For the moment, most of us are e

Chapter 2: The Quest for True Belonging We all crave and need true belonging in our lives. We want to be a part of something, but we need it to be real, not conditional or fake. "Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us, because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only substitute for belonging, but often helps barriers to it". When I read the above paragraph, it struck me and made absolute sense instantly. The more you try to fit in the more you do not actually belong, True belonging only happens when we are true to ourselves. Presenting ourselves out there just the way we are... Once we belong thoroughly to ourselves and believe thoroughly in ourselves, true belonging is ours. Belonging to ourselves means being called to stand alone, to brave the wilderness of uncertainty, vulnerability and criticism. - The Wilderness Belonging so fully to yourself that you're willi